At Optimist Performance, we believe that growth comes from pushing past discomfort and embracing challenges. However, learning something new—whether it’s a skill, concept, or mindset—often feels difficult, frustrating, and even painful. But why is that?

“Learning is not a product of teaching. Learning is the product of the activity of learners.” – John Holt, Educator and Author

Here’s a look at some of the reasons why learning can feel like an uphill battle:

1. Your Brain Resists Change
The brain is wired to conserve energy by sticking to familiar patterns. Learning something new requires forming new neural connections, which demands extra mental effort. This natural resistance to change can make the process feel hard, but it’s actually a sign that your brain is working to adapt and grow.

2. Cognitive Load
Learning something new can overload the brain. As you process unfamiliar information, cognitive load—the mental effort required—can feel overwhelming. The more complex the task, the harder it becomes. The frustration you experience is simply your brain adjusting and forming new pathways.

3. Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
Growth happens outside your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Learning something new often brings uncertainty, which can trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Mistakes and failures are inevitable, but they’re also necessary for progress. The discomfort is part of the journey.

4. Delayed Rewards
Learning takes time. Your brain craves the instant gratification that comes with success, but that reward is often delayed in the early stages of learning. The frustration you feel is a result of your brain not receiving immediate dopamine (the “reward” neurotransmitter), even though you’re putting in the work. But stick with it—those rewards will come.

5. The Power of Persistence
At Optimist Performance, we understand that the struggle is part of growth. The pain you feel in learning is actually the process of building resilience and mastery. Embrace the challenge and trust that every step forward—no matter how small—is a step toward growth and success.

In the end, learning something new is tough because it pushes you to grow. The frustration and discomfort are simply signs that you’re on the path to greater performance and potential. Keep going—the payoff is worth it.

Here are some practical techniques to help you overcome the challenges:

Break It Down – Simplify the learning process by breaking it into smaller, manageable chunks. Focusing on one thing at a time reduces overwhelm and helps build confidence.

Celebrate Small Wins – Acknowledge progress, no matter how small. Celebrating wins boosts motivation and reinforces positive behaviour.

Teach Others – Explaining what you’ve learned to someone else—helps reinforce your understanding and identify gaps in your knowledge.

Build a Support System – Surround yourself with others who are learning the same thing or who can offer guidance. A strong support system makes learning more enjoyable and less isolating.

By incorporating these techniques, you can make the learning process more manageable and rewarding. Remember, every step forward brings you closer to success.

Want to know more – Cognitive Load Theory and its Impact on Learning and Instruction

• Source: ScienceDirect
• Link: Cognitive Load Theory and Its Impact on Learning and Instruction

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In the UK, it’s estimated that alcohol-related lost productivity costs £7 billion each year. And in the US, that figure can reach up to a whopping $68 billion.

But the answer isn’t as simple as just ‘cutting down or quitting’ alcohol. Because trying to do that through sheer willpower alone completely ignores what’s causing these unhealthy drinking patterns in the first place. Research has shown that there are a number of key driving factors behind compulsive behaviour, and it’s only by adopting a holistic approach that you can truly regain control of your relationship with alcohol.

By understanding these factors, you can gain insight into why you behave the way you do, and start making changes for a healthier future.

The driving factors behind compulsive behaviour

Environment

By environment, we mean literally everything around you—where you live, where you work; the physical, mental and emotional spaces you occupy. Are these spaces positive, supportive and encouraging? Or are they negative, draining and demanding?

Trauma

In coaching terms, trauma has a much broader meaning. Whether it’s ‘big T’ or ‘little t’ trauma, all of us have trauma, because after all, just being a child is traumatic. It’s about perceived moments you didn’t understand—these experiences form part of the ego, and every day we make decisions and run patterns in our lives based on the ego and those early events. Most of our compulsive behaviour is rooted in trauma, and becoming aware of elements from the past that are still shaping your daily behaviour today is one of the most profoundly life-changing things you can do. In fact, it’s half the battle, because once you’re able to map the behaviour directly to the trauma, you can do something about it.

Emotional regulation

Dealing with and processing emotions is key to being able to eliminate compulsive behaviour. Many of us haven’t done enough work to understand these old emotions, which is why you need a safe space to process and understand your feelings—yes, and to cry! Then you can begin to build emotional resilience, and meditation is hands-down one of the best ways to do that. 

Habits & routines

You need strong foundations to build a healthy future. That means looking after the basics like sleep, exercise, nutrition, breathwork, reflection and meditation. Get these habits securely in place, and you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

Read  “How to change habits to achieve your goals” here. 

Stress

Stress is like the bullet train that drives compulsive behaviour into the NOW. We live in a very hectic, stressful world. Many of us are in high-stress jobs and have high-stress lives. Unless you learn how to deal with stress, you’re always going to reach for that numb button.

Read “What I’ve learned about stress & mental health since quitting rugby – By Ollie Phillips” here. 

Relationships

If your closest relationships are unsettled or broken, and you’re constantly around these people, then you’ll feel the desire to escape and dull the unhappiness. Cue alcohol, cake, Netflix, gambling; you name it.

Connection

These are your wider relationships—your social circle, people you feel connected to, your clan. If they’re all booze-hounds and don’t understand why you would even want anything different, then you’re going to struggle. It’s imperative to feel a strong sense of connection with people living how you want to live.

Read “Our jobs as a source of community” here. 

Meaning & purpose

As humans, we need to feel like we’re aligned to our values and have a sense of purpose in life. For instance, working in a meaningless job where you feel like you don’t add value and you’re not appreciated, will drive you to find ways to drown out those feelings.

Keep score

Think of each of these factors as having a rating of 0–10. Zero is the rock bottom worst, while 10 is the very best you could achieve in that area. Everyone’s ratings will look different, and no one is at 0 or 10 in all areas. You don’t need them all to be 10, either. But the more 1/10 or 2/10 scores you have, the harder you’re going to find it to control your drinking.

How can you apply it?

You can work through these issues on your own, but that can be hard to do—it’s much easier with support, community, and other people’s feedback. Alternatively, you can invest in a one-to-one coach or therapist for dedicated personalised support.

About the author

Ruari, a trailblazer in the health & wellbeing space, was recently awarded both Great British Entrepreneur of the year and Great British Entrepreneur – Health & Wellbeing of the year for Scotland and Northern Ireland, as well as leading OYNB to be named Spectator’s Economic innovator of The Year in the UK.

At OYNB, our eight-week program, Complete Control, offers a comprehensive approach to transformation. Through one-to-one and group coaching, daily content, hypnotherapy, accountability, and remote health monitoring, we help individuals understand and overcome their compulsive behaviors. By addressing the root causes and leveraging coaching and technology, we empower people to regain control and witness remarkable results.

Find more about Ruari Fairbairns and OYNB here:

Website: https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/

Facebook: OneYearNoBeer

LinkedIn: Ruari Fairbairns

Twitter: @oynbuk

Instagram: @oynb

Youtube: @OneYearNoBeer

Apple Podcast: One Year No Beer Podcast

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As a people-based business, we’ve looked at different approaches and the science behind setting goals. In previous articles, we’ve looked at how to change your habits to achieve your goals – establishing new habits and breaking the unhelpful ones.  We’ve also covered setting SMARTER goals and some of the questions you might ask yourself to reflect on where you are now and, looking to the future, where we can improve.

This month, we turn our attention East to the Japanese concept of ikigai and consider how we can use our own individual sense of purpose to influence and set our goals. Ikigai is a word with no direct translation to English; it roughly equates to “that which makes life worth living”, “reason for being”, or perhaps what gets you out of bed in the morning. 

Purpose is profoundly personal

Ikigai is concerned with a focus on a particular sphere of life, activity or social role which offers a real source of identity or meaning. It can be defined as something that truly makes life worth living for a particular individual. This could be aspects of social identity such as work or family or found within a sport or hobby.

Your Ikigai does not necessarily refer to your working life, nor does it need to be something grand or monumental. While one person’s Ikigai might be building a multi-million-pound business, another’s could be volunteering on a particular project or looking after their pet.

Your individual definition of success will be just as unique as you are.

Your goals will be interconnected

In previous articles, we’ve talked about siloed working within companies where departments fail to communicate with each other. Similarly, to ensure your goals are achievable, don’t fall into the trap of not considering your life as a whole when you start to define them. Writing in Forbes, the CEO of BodeTree Chris Myers, talks about Ikigai’s intersection of the spiritual with the physical, which connects all aspects of life. 

He explains: “There’s a difference between the things that are important in your life and your life’s work. Ikigai is about finding joy, fulfilment and balance in the daily routine of life.”

Myers warns against compartmentalising important aspects of our lives, such as our jobs, families, passions and desires.

Striking a balance between goals across different life areas is key.

Write your narrative to success

Writing your goals down and articulating what success in achieving them will look like is advocated in a paper on how Ikigai can optimise human performance and happiness by Prof Dr Michaela Schippers of the Erasmus Research Institute of Management.

Schippers cites the book ‘Redirect: The surprising new science of psychological change’ by Timothy Wilson. He recommends describing the goals you set in “concrete rather than abstract terms” and describes how you can create a new life story by rewriting it, which can help you break free from self-defeating patterns of thinking. 

According to Wilson, writing a ”more optimistic story …will energise you to take action”.

Make your goals positive – and public

In her paper on Ikigai, Schippers describes a study where students were asked to reflect on their goals, which could be academic or non-academic, within their first term of university. They were then asked to commit to one overall goal, which was published, along with their photo, on the university’s website. 

The students were asked to frame these intentions as “I will” commitments. These included statements such as, “I will work as hard as possible to achieve my goals” and “I will sustain the world for future generations,” which were published alongside their name and photo.

Schippers’ study showed an increase of 22 per cent in academic performance compared to previous cohorts who had not taken part in the “I will” intervention and decreased drop-out rates.

Focus on random acts of kindness, along with your goals

Within Optimist Performance, we always talk about the importance of cultivating an ‘attitude to gratitude,’ not just during the season of goodwill, but all year round. According to Schippers’ paper on Ikigai, having an altruistic purpose in life may be particularly helpful for optimising happiness. 

Random acts of kindness were found to be particularly helpful to their benefactor. The study also found helping others, especially in socially engaged ways, was more beneficial to a person’s well-being than providing treats for themselves.

The Optimist View…

At Optimist Performance, we believe that we all can find our Ikigai and achieve that balance and success. However, you don’t need to do it alone, our Optimist Coaches can help you with it, they can support you in fulfilling your potential, clarify your goals and plan your route to success in 2023. 

Learn more about our Optimist coaching here or get in touch with us for a free touchpoint first call with one of our coaches.

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Learning something new, whether it’s a new skill, system, language, or approach, requires us to leave our comfort zones, which is, unfortunately, is not everyone’s favourite location. Fortunately, we can all overcome this and become lifelong learners, allowing us to develop to our full potential and achieve more success.

Furthermore, we’ve all been forced to become “students” again during the last two years, learning a new way, adapting to a new world, filling our time with new interests and activities, and so on…

So, knowing that we are able to learn, why should we limit the benefits of new learning only to situations that are forced upon us? Why not adopt a lifelong learner mindset, where we are always seeking new knowledge, experiences and skills?

Why don’t we enjoy learning?

There are a variety of reasons why we are hesitant to learn something new, but the following are the most common:

Fear. As we become older, we get used to being one of the smartest people in the room, so many people are afraid of being a beginner again, asking too many questions or appearing silly. Others may be concerned that they will not be able to learn or that it will take too long, causing them to waste their time.

Lack of motivation or laziness. While many of us will not admit to being lazy, the reality is that when presented with a new learning opportunity, our thoughts instinctively wonder how long it will take, how worthwhile it will be, or how useful it will be in our personal and professional life.

The benefits of being a long-life learner

While there may be reasons why learning anything new can bring negative thoughts, emotions, or feelings, at Optimist Performance, we don’t like to dwell on the negative. There are numerous beneficial results as well.

It can cause long-term alterations in the brain areas related to attention and concentration. People who learned a new skill over a three-month period exhibited an increase in their long-term memory, according to a study by Denise Park of the University of Texas at Dallas’ Center for Vital Longevity.

It will boost your confidence. When we realise how capable we are of learning something new, we gain confidence in ourselves, especially in situations where we may lack prior expertise because we know we can always learn. As a result, we will be more motivated to learn new things and open ourselves to new experiences.

You can find new growth opportunities, both in your personal and professional life. When we adopt a lifelong learner mindset, many of our beliefs and behaviours will also change. For example, suppose there is a new skill that will allow you to opt for a new opportunity, whether it is a promotion, a new job, or even an increase in salary in your current position. By being willing to learn whatever it’s required, we are allowing ourselves more opportunities in life.

Change your mindset to become a lifelong learner

Changing our mindset isn’t a one-day task, but given the benefits, it may bring to our lives, it’s well worth the effort. We’ve compiled a list of suggestions to help us shift our mindset and become the best version of ourselves:

1. Switch your thoughts

We’re starting to realise how significant our thoughts are, and even better, we realise that we can change them. So, if you want to change your thinking, start paying attention to the negative thoughts that arise when you’re confronted with a new learning challenge and replace them with positive ones.

Hayley Bennett, a multi-award-winning equity, diversity, and inclusion consultant and campaigner, is a perfect example. She kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong when she wanted to start her own business until one day; she decided to focus on all the things that could go right. And it was because of this mindset change that she was able to start her own business and is now thriving. (You can listen to the interview here)

2. Take into account the opportunity cost

Whatever decision you make, you are missing something else. So, the next time a new learning opportunity presents itself, and you start making excuses, consider what you might miss out on if you don’t master that new talent.

Consider all of the executives and managers who have refused to adjust to the new working style. Their decision will have ramifications not only for themselves but also for their company; for example, they may miss out on or even lose excellent talent as a result of their decision.

3. Replace your lack of interest with curiosity

Not everyone is interested in the same topics, and a lack of interest will certainly make learning more challenging, if not impossible. If you don’t have a choice (for example, learning a new CRM system at work), try to spark your interest by identifying other advantages associated with the learning.

To use the CRM system as an example, you may not be interested in it now, but consider how much time you’ll have once you’ve learned it to do other things you prefer. (Read more about the benefits of being curious and how to cultivate curiosity here)

4. Embrace the unknown

As humans, we are not particularly fond of the unknown. According to studies, we prefer a negative outcome rather than an unknown one. The reason for this is that uncertainty threats our safety, but we can always change our vision of the unknown. (Check this article for more tips)

5. Accept your vulnerability

As mentioned above, one of the main reasons for not learning new things is that we don’t want to look like beginners or look like a fool. All of these are linked to our fear of being vulnerable. However, showing vulnerability has more benefits than we may think.

For example, if you’re a leader, showing vulnerability within your team can increase creativity, innovation, and collaboration. No one is perfect, and seeing our leader as a person who doesn’t know everything, give us the courage to admit mistakes ourselves, to speak up about new ideas, or to ask questions that can enhance our results. So, the next time your mind tells you about the negative aspect of vulnerability, you can switch these thoughts and replace them with all the positive outcomes you may gain from it. (Learn more about vulnerability here)

The Optimist view…

We believe that everyone has the ability to achieve whatever they want, but unfortunately, not everyone has the mindset needed to do it. To change your life, learn new things, live new experiences, and succeed; you must be able to imagine yourself capable of doing so, which in turn will motivate you to take action.

At Optimist Performance, we don’t want you to miss out due to fear or a lack of motivation. So the next time you’re debating whether or not you should learn that new skill and your mind starts making all the usual excuses, remember that we can all learn, no matter how old we are, that you don’t have to be the best to be successful, and most importantly, remember that time will pass anyway. Still, you can choose how to invest the time you have.

If you are ready to be the best version of yourself, please get in touch with us and learn how our executive coaching can help you achieve your goals. 

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As Optimists, we believe we can do anything we set our minds to, but we know that just thinking about it won’t get us very far, and because we like to pray what we preach, we have tried a variety of accountability methods. 

These are what we have found to be the most effective ways to keep accountability.

Tips to improve your accountability:

Plan in advance

“A goal without a plan, it’s just a wish” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

For every single thing we want to achieve, there are a thousand ways to do it, so having a plan or strategy is essential.  Whether you want to drop 20 pounds or grow your business, you need a strategy. 

Goals are (the majority of the time) big and long-term. They are the outcome you wish to achieve, but you’ll need a plan to get there. It’s also valuable because it provides you with clarity and focus. Most people don’t know where to start without a plan, which causes them to delay actions and lose motivation.

At Optimist Performance, we love goals, but we love planning just as much. We set up daily, weekly and monthly plans, and they are as detailed as possible. 

For example, instead of simply preparing to exercise the next day, a team member decides the day or week before, the exercises she’ll do, when and for how long. So, she knows beforehand what she needs to do and when the time comes, she is mentally prepared for it. 

You wouldn’t go into a meeting without an agenda. The agenda is your meeting plan to keep you on track and make sure you make the most out of your time.

Set short-term goals

Short-term goals can help you maintain your motivation, enable you to take small and immediate actions and assure your success. 

Even if you start super motivated, the chances are that it will wear off eventually when we talk about long-term goals. Furthermore, big goals can make us feel overwhelmed. 

Setting short-term goals is a part of the planning process, and it’s a great way to boost confidence. Breaking down your long-term goals into smaller ones gives you the satisfaction of achieving them while also allowing you to see progress and increase motivation. (Check out our interview with Miles Lowry, Strategy Business Partner at Formula 1, where we talk about short-term goals)

In addition, don’t forget to celebrate the small wins. Incentives are one of the most effective ways to ensure goal completion, so pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself on your accomplishments. It feels amazing to complete a marathon, but you can only take one step at a time.

Find an accountability partner 

You are 65% more likely to complete a goal if you commit to someone. That number increases to 95% when you set up an appointment to review your progress, according to a study by The American Society of Training and Development (ASTD).

Having someone with whom you can share your goals and progress will help you become more accountable while also increasing your motivation. 

No one likes to admit defeat or fail, so we’re more likely to follow through when we have to show our progress to someone else.

If you don’t have someone close to you who can be your accountability partner, search for it elsewhere. When we were testing this method, we joined a group on social media.

You can also find a group in your area, search for your tribe or ask for professional help depending on your goals. A personal trainer or a coach can be an excellent resource for planning and accountability.

Learn more about our executive coaching.

Keep track

Once you have your plan and your short-term goals, it’s critical to keep track of them. You can use a variety of methods depending on your preferences; to-do lists, journaling, or a goal-tracking app.

• To-do lists: Did you know that our brains release dopamine when we complete a task? As a result, when we utilise to-do lists, we associate task accomplishment with crossing it off our list, resulting in dopamine release. We know now why one of our team members is obsessed with to-do lists.

• Keep a journal: Not only can you use it to track your progress, but you can also use it to make notes and other observations about your day that will help you review and reflect afterwards. We use it to review our weekly progress and keep track of good habits, for example.

• Goal tracking apps: We tried an app called Strides, and we can assure you that it works. It provides you with the same sense of accomplishment as a to-do list while it holds you accountable with notifications. It’s amazing how these small reminders can impact your accountability. We tried Strides, but there are many other options. (Check out this article for more info)

Keeping track not only improves our accountability but also makes us feel more productive since we can see what we’ve accomplished and how far we’ve come.

Review & reflect 

“Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.”  – John C. Maxwell

Last but not least, we have to review & reflect on our progress and adjust our plans accordingly. 

Even when we plan, we are bound to make mistakes or forget things. Also, things are constantly changing, so we need to be flexible and be able to adapt our plans. Taking the time to review and reflect allows us to identify challenges and improve our future planning. 

Within our team, we review our progress on a daily and weekly basis. Then, every six months, we do an in-depth review to ensure that we are progressing toward our end goals.

The Optimist View…

We can achieve everything we want if we hold ourselves accountable.

Unfortunately, accountability is the most challenging aspect when it comes to goals, which is why outside assistance can be quite beneficial. One of the things that most of our executive coaching customers appreciate is the added help with planning and accountability.

If you’re serious about achieving your goals this year, get in touch with us and discover how our executive coaching programmes may help you.

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Sadly, statistics show that 92% of people fail to achieve their goals. We want to help you be part of the winning 8% of people who succeed. 

We all understand the importance of goal setting, but the majority of us still are failing to do it efficiently. 

What does the Theory say about Goal Setting?

The famous SMART Goals formula is a great way to start, but there is an even better one, SMARTER Goals. 

• S – Specific
• M – Measurable
• A – Attainable/Achievable
• R – Realistic
• T – Time-Bound
• E – Evaluative/Ethical: the interventions and execution follow professional and personal ethics. 
• R – Rewarding: The end-results of the goal-setting come with a positive reward and bring a feeling of accomplishment to the user. 

Why do most people fail to achieve their goals?

There are a few well-known reasons why we fail to achieve our goals. Knowing them will help you avoid these common mistakes.

• Lack of understanding or real destination. 
• Lack of motivation or commitment. 
• Fear of success or failure. 
• Analysis paralysis. People fail to start because they want to know all the answers beforehand. 
• Failing to plan. 

Communication is Key: Most of these reasons could be easily prevented with good communication. Knowing your motivation and emotions can help you either to set up better goals or to build your self-confidence to succeed. Also, communicating properly and consistently with your team can avoid distractions, misunderstandings, and misinformation. 

How to improve goal setting and goal achievement

Interesting facts about goal setting 

Clear, specific, challenging, timely, and well-planned goals have a positive effect on performance.

Group goals have a moderate to a large positive effect on group/ team performance.

Self-confidence, personality and cognitive ability have an influence on how people engage in or set challenging goals.

Sometimes, behavioural or learning goals are more effective. When people need to acquire knowledge or skills before performing the goal, specific and challenging goals can have a negative effect on performance.

The overuse of extremely high goals combined with economic incentives may lead to diminished self-regulatory capacity and unethical behaviour.

Goal setting is a more powerful motivator than monetary incentives alone. Latham & Locke (1979) found goal setting to be the major mechanism by which other incentives affect motivation. Within the workplace, money was found most effective as a motivator when the rewards offered were contingent on achieving specific objectives.

Source: CIPD Technical Report

Some easy tips to start

These are quite simple, but their impact is too big not to mention them. 

Write them down. Studies have proven that writing your goals down, increases your probabilities of success. 

Share your goals. Make someone else aware of your goals and give them periodic feedback on your progress. 

You should also apply both of them into your company goals. 

How to improve your goal setting through your leadership

Considering the facts above, here are some tips on how you can improve your goal setting by being a great leader:

Goals should be difficult but not competitive. Make sure that both individuals and team goals are aligned, so they don´t create a rivalry. Also, they should be consistent and well aligned with your company culture. 

Create long-term and short-term goals. The latter will help you in creating a plan, stay on track and keep high motivation, while achieving your long-term goals. 

Feedback, support, and appreciation. Make sure you are present during the process to support your team. Giving feedback and appreciating their small wins are important to keep strong morale. 

Listen, share, and communicate. Listen to what their feelings and emotions are. Create goals that are aligned with your team´s motivations. Communicate with them consistently and share the progress. 

Find a professional. A professional can support you and your team during the process, increase your motivation, and help you stay on track. When you want to buy a house or make an investment, you find someone to help you. Goal setting is the same. So, don’t underestimate the power of professional support. 

We hope this content will help you in your goal setting for this New Year. As Optimists, we believe you can be part of the successful 8%, but don’t leave it all on you to make that the case.

At Optimist Performance, we specialise in helping people maximise their potential and achieve their goals. Learn more about our executive coaching here or get in touch with us for a free touchpoint first call with one of our coaches. 

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