“I wanted to become a doctor because I wanted to serve others…I’ve shared the lives of patients and staff members of the hospital, I’ve laughed with them, I’ve cried with them, this is what I want to do with my life.” – Patch Adams Movie

When we look back on our lives, the things we remember the most are the experiences we shared with others, some good, some bad, but all of them have made us who we are. At Optimist Performance, we are firm believers in the power of shared experiences, which is why we have made it our mission to use them as a catalyst to create long-lasting change. 

However, the power of shared experiences is not only something we believe in; we also have science backing us up. 

The benefits of shared experiences:

When talking about experiences, we are not only referring to the extraordinary ones (like going to the north pole or climbing Kilimanjaro). Yes, extraordinary adventures are amazing, but according to science, the crucial part is not the experience itself but who you share it with. 

Our founder, Ollie Phillips, is a fantastic illustration of this. When we asked him which adventure was his favourite one, his answer was “cycling across America, it wasn’t the most extraordinary one, but it’s the one I remember the most because I went with my wife, Lucy.”

Positive shared experiences enhance our feelings of belonging, connectedness and sense of meaning. Additionally, it boosts our self-esteem and decreases feelings of depression, anxiety and isolation. 

Furthermore, we shouldn’t focus on share experiences only with people we know and with whom we have things in common. Spending time with younger people, for example, can challenge our thinking and foster innovation while also enhancing our sense of purpose if we feel like we are teaching or helping them.

We don’t even really need to share these experiences with someone we know and already like. According to a recent study from Psychological Science, sharing experiences, even with complete strangers, makes us rate those experiences as more meaningful.

In addition to being good for our mental and emotional health, shared experiences also foster empathy and are linked to good physical and cognitive health.

Furthermore, it’s not only sharing these experiences that have a positive impact on us. Even talking about them with others benefits our well-being and life satisfaction, according to studies. 

How can we maximise the power of shared experiences?

Given that loneliness has been identified as one of the largest issues facing society today and that we are spending more time alone than ever (working from home for young people, for example, can be quite lonely). We could all benefit from shared experiences. 

So, we have created a list of ideas on how to maximise the power of experiences:

Leverage your time. Instead of trying to find time that you probably don’t have, we can make our time “multitask”. Take this company as an example; they have their Wednesday meetings while walking in the park. Using the time we spend on everyday activities and turning them into experiences can be a terrific way to make your time multitask. Furthermore, you don’t really need to be in the same room. Consider making a phone call to a co-worker over lunch (research shows that sharing a meal helps us build social connections and communities) to catch up on your weekend or turn a solo activity into a group activity. For instance, our team likes to get together on zoom for “brainstorming sessions”. During these, we just talk about ideas, points of view, etc.… it helps our creativity, but it’s also a bounding moment when we are not alone.

Mix things up. The holiday period can be a great time to spend time with people you normally wouldn’t. If the person you normally work closely with is on leave, ask someone else to collaborate with you or just ask for their opinions over a face-to-face or virtual coffee, You can also use your onboarding to mix things up. If you are a senior in your company, make some time to help young/new people to get situated, you never know what you can learn from them. 

Share, share, share. If you work from home and don’t see much of your co-workers, use your daily or weekly meetings to share your experiences, what you’ve done on the weekend or what you did while on holiday. Most of us can relate to other people’s stories, and it can help us discover more about other people. We always use the first 15 minutes of our morning meetings to talk about our weekends, and yes, maybe we are taking 15 minutes that we could be working, but because of that time, we feel more connected to one another. 

Change the environment. Create a memorable experience for your team by getting them out of their daily routine. Whether you work in the office or at home, it’s difficult to put day-to-day work aside to discuss other things that are maybe just as important. By changing the environment, you can give people the time and space needed to reflect on different aspects of their work and personal lives. Being together outside of routine tasks also fosters a sense of belonging and connection.

At Optimist Performance, we love creating unforgettable memories that have an impact on people. If you need assistance organising your next team event, get in touch with us.

The Optimist View…

“I will never tell you a story that starts with I was alone one day…”, our founder Ollie Phillips used to say. The experiences we have become part of who we are; they have the power to transform us. However, it’s the experiences we share with others, the ones that we remember the most. 

At Optimist Performance, we specialise in creating experiences that will help you grow both individually and as a team. If you want to bring your team together, strengthen your company culture and values, or make sure the whole team is rowing in the same direction, get in touch with us today and see how our leadership journeys can help you and your team maximise your potential.

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The topic of mental health and stress should not be taboo. We should feel empowered to be open when it comes to verbalising issues surrounding our mental health – particularly if it occurs in the workplace. In 2021, there were an estimated 882,000 workers affected by mental health within the workplace in the UK. 

Often, change can be the corkscrew for stress to arise. I found that when I retired from a professional rugby career at the age of 29, it seemed to leave a big old mark!

Quitting rugby has a big impact on my mental health 

Rugby had been my life since I could walk. It had consumed so much of me, and I am grateful for every experience. Much of what I knew was training, playing and thankfully a lot of the time…winning! Don’t get me wrong, playing sport at any level is stressful, let alone internationally! 

Stepping away from the sport left me feeling as if I was lost and I soon realised that the way I dealt with issues in rugby, did not translate to the corporate world. 

After entering the workforce and being faced with intense imposter syndrome, I too, along with many other workers developed an immense amount of stress with my new job. I felt as if I had no purpose, and I was uncomfortable with the way my life was panning out. Yet – I knew I couldn’t just let this get the better of me. I knew I had to better understand myself and be more productive if I wanted to stop feeling like this. 

Here, I have also penned some thoughts on how leaders can help with work-related stress: https://www.optimistperformance.com/captains-blog/news/how-can-leaders-help-with-work-related-stress-by-optimist-performance/ 

“When I realised, I was struggling, I decided to seek therapy.”

I understand that the way to work with mental health issues is to address them head-on – and understand where these issues derive from. When I realised, I was struggling, I decided to seek therapy. This would be one of the best decisions I would ever make. 

Just as walking away from rugby felt like it left a major hold in my life, you too may also in your life feel as if you are searching for a purpose. Struggling with mental health is something many of us will struggle with and we can all benefit from seeking to improve it. 

Distractions can be a haven, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and Everest, and raising money for charity in the process was something I enjoyed outside of rugby – thus keeping my mind at ease. These were major factors in the founding of my leadership and behavioural change business. 

But when we talk about stress, everyone views it as a negative. I recently wrote about Eustress and the ability to use stress positively. I was able to do that throughout my playing career, and even now professionally, a large part down to my mindset. I didn’t always get it right, but when I did, stress was such a powerful tool!

Take a look at my blog on Eustress here: https://www.optimistperformance.com/captains-blog/news/why-you-shouldnt-completely-avoid-stress-by-optimist-performance/ 

 An attitude of Gratitude

I have spoken previously about the idea of the eternal optimist. This idea stems from a serious attitude of taking gratitude for everything life throws your way.

Good days, we make memories from. Bad days – we learn and take experience from. Being appreciative of life itself, using the days that often leave us stressed or anxious as lessons. Also, understanding that living the ‘perfect life’ is virtually impossible. This way of thinking set out the idea of my company ‘Optimist Performance’.

Looking back, I learned a lot from change and transition – despite that being the same thing that kickstarted my struggles. Yet – I see that as the lesson, as I said – taking gratitude in everything.

“Attitude of Gratitude” as a mantra has really helped me. It offers perspective on everything and has helped me deal with much of the stress I have had to deal with. 

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