In the UK, it’s estimated that alcohol-related lost productivity costs £7 billion each year. And in the US, that figure can reach up to a whopping $68 billion.

But the answer isn’t as simple as just ‘cutting down or quitting’ alcohol. Because trying to do that through sheer willpower alone completely ignores what’s causing these unhealthy drinking patterns in the first place. Research has shown that there are a number of key driving factors behind compulsive behaviour, and it’s only by adopting a holistic approach that you can truly regain control of your relationship with alcohol.

By understanding these factors, you can gain insight into why you behave the way you do, and start making changes for a healthier future.

The driving factors behind compulsive behaviour

Environment

By environment, we mean literally everything around you—where you live, where you work; the physical, mental and emotional spaces you occupy. Are these spaces positive, supportive and encouraging? Or are they negative, draining and demanding?

Trauma

In coaching terms, trauma has a much broader meaning. Whether it’s ‘big T’ or ‘little t’ trauma, all of us have trauma, because after all, just being a child is traumatic. It’s about perceived moments you didn’t understand—these experiences form part of the ego, and every day we make decisions and run patterns in our lives based on the ego and those early events. Most of our compulsive behaviour is rooted in trauma, and becoming aware of elements from the past that are still shaping your daily behaviour today is one of the most profoundly life-changing things you can do. In fact, it’s half the battle, because once you’re able to map the behaviour directly to the trauma, you can do something about it.

Emotional regulation

Dealing with and processing emotions is key to being able to eliminate compulsive behaviour. Many of us haven’t done enough work to understand these old emotions, which is why you need a safe space to process and understand your feelings—yes, and to cry! Then you can begin to build emotional resilience, and meditation is hands-down one of the best ways to do that. 

Habits & routines

You need strong foundations to build a healthy future. That means looking after the basics like sleep, exercise, nutrition, breathwork, reflection and meditation. Get these habits securely in place, and you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

Read  “How to change habits to achieve your goals” here. 

Stress

Stress is like the bullet train that drives compulsive behaviour into the NOW. We live in a very hectic, stressful world. Many of us are in high-stress jobs and have high-stress lives. Unless you learn how to deal with stress, you’re always going to reach for that numb button.

Read “What I’ve learned about stress & mental health since quitting rugby – By Ollie Phillips” here. 

Relationships

If your closest relationships are unsettled or broken, and you’re constantly around these people, then you’ll feel the desire to escape and dull the unhappiness. Cue alcohol, cake, Netflix, gambling; you name it.

Connection

These are your wider relationships—your social circle, people you feel connected to, your clan. If they’re all booze-hounds and don’t understand why you would even want anything different, then you’re going to struggle. It’s imperative to feel a strong sense of connection with people living how you want to live.

Read “Our jobs as a source of community” here. 

Meaning & purpose

As humans, we need to feel like we’re aligned to our values and have a sense of purpose in life. For instance, working in a meaningless job where you feel like you don’t add value and you’re not appreciated, will drive you to find ways to drown out those feelings.

Keep score

Think of each of these factors as having a rating of 0–10. Zero is the rock bottom worst, while 10 is the very best you could achieve in that area. Everyone’s ratings will look different, and no one is at 0 or 10 in all areas. You don’t need them all to be 10, either. But the more 1/10 or 2/10 scores you have, the harder you’re going to find it to control your drinking.

How can you apply it?

You can work through these issues on your own, but that can be hard to do—it’s much easier with support, community, and other people’s feedback. Alternatively, you can invest in a one-to-one coach or therapist for dedicated personalised support.

About the author

Ruari, a trailblazer in the health & wellbeing space, was recently awarded both Great British Entrepreneur of the year and Great British Entrepreneur – Health & Wellbeing of the year for Scotland and Northern Ireland, as well as leading OYNB to be named Spectator’s Economic innovator of The Year in the UK.

At OYNB, our eight-week program, Complete Control, offers a comprehensive approach to transformation. Through one-to-one and group coaching, daily content, hypnotherapy, accountability, and remote health monitoring, we help individuals understand and overcome their compulsive behaviors. By addressing the root causes and leveraging coaching and technology, we empower people to regain control and witness remarkable results.

Find more about Ruari Fairbairns and OYNB here:

Website: https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/

Facebook: OneYearNoBeer

LinkedIn: Ruari Fairbairns

Twitter: @oynbuk

Instagram: @oynb

Youtube: @OneYearNoBeer

Apple Podcast: One Year No Beer Podcast

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You have probably already planned out what you want to do and how (your change action plan), and you are undoubtedly very motivated. However, motivation is not constant, and we need to develop some strategies to ensure we achieve our goals successfully to avoid slipping back into old patterns and routines. 

Fortunately, at Optimist Performance, we specialise in creating long-lasting behavioural change, and we have some strategies and tips that will help you succeed in changing your behaviours. 

The 6 stages of change (behaviours)

According to The Transtheoretical Model (also called the Stages of Change Model), developed by Prochaska and DiClemente in the late 1970s, there are 6 stages of change:

• Precontemplation: During this stage, people are still not considering a change. 
• Contemplation: Stage where people become more aware of the potential benefits of making a change. 
• Preparation: In this stage, people are ready to take action. 
• Action: Stage where people change their behaviour and intend to keep moving forward. 
• Maintenance: People have successfully created new behaviours. 
• Relapse: A common stage where we relapse into old behaviours. 

Let’s assume that you have already gone through the first 3 stages. You are ready to take action, and more importantly, you have created an action plan. 

Click here to read more about goal setting and how to use your ikigai for goal setting. 

Let’s focus on the last 3 stages: action, maintenance and relapse. We’ll share some strategies to include in your plan if you want to achieve success. 

4 Tips to successfully change behaviours

Successful and long-lasting behaviour change requires us to break old habits and form new ones. The time it takes to alter behaviours will vary based on the behaviour you want to change, so despite how often you’ve heard that it only takes 21 days, this is not as simple as it sounds.

Therefore, let’s create some techniques that will keep us on track as the new year’s euphoria subsides and moves us beyond relying just on our motivation to succeed.

Recognise your triggers and barriers 

Whatever the behaviour you want to change, there are going to be some triggers and barriers that will make it more challenging. The first step is to recognise these triggers and barriers so you can prepare for them in advance. 

• Triggers are actions or events that play a role in prompting particular behaviours. 
• A barrier is an obstacle that stops you from achieving what you want. 

For example, a common barrier to exercise would be a lack of time. 

Once we know our barriers and triggers, we can implement strategies for when they occur. Take some time and think about the triggers and barriers stopping you from achieving your goals. 

Develop coping strategies 

We are all for being optimistic, but that doesn’t mean closing our eyes to reality. So instead of overestimating our motivation, we prepare ourselves for when things get challenging. 

Using the previous example of exercising, waking up an hour earlier can be a solution to the lack of time barrier. 

A strategy to fight against triggers can be to develop “autopilots” (the chimp management book); this means creating an automatic response or belief in your mind to react to a specific trigger. 

This may seem challenging, but in reality, we have a lot more power to change our thoughts than we believe. Since you now know the triggers and barriers to changing the desired behaviour, you can develop strategies to overcome them. 

Reward yourself 

As we mentioned before, motivation is not constant, so instead of focusing on maintaining our motivation, we can use rewards to increase our self-efficacy. 

Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in their ability to complete a task or achieve a goal. Many studies show self-efficacy is a great indicator of success when changing behaviours. The more we believe we can do something, the greater our chance of succeeding. 

Creating short-term goals and rewarding ourselves for small wins along the way is a great strategy to achieve success. It’s a way to reassure ourselves that we are capable of change, increasing our self-efficacy and, in turn, our motivation to keep going. 

Reaffirm yourself and keep your commitment front of mind 

It’s easy to feel motivated and committed to our goal at the beginning when we are creating our plan. However, routine has a way of sending us right back to old behaviours. 

Who hasn’t set the alarm to go to the gym the night before, just to keep snoozing it in the morning until it’s time to go to work? This is why it’s important to reaffirm ourselves and make sure we keep our commitments front of mind. 

Instead of setting a goal and focusing only on what you need to do, frequently think about what it is you want to achieve: what’s the outcome you are aiming for? So for example, rather than saying to yourself that your goal is to exercise and therefore you need to make time to go to the gym regularly, you might reframe it in terms of wanting to be more actively involved with your kids or wanting to join the charity walk organised by work for later in the year. You can write down your ultimate outcome, create a vision board or just keep reminding yourself of it when you are tempted to go back to the old ways. 

The Optimist View…

We know that creating long-lasting behavioural change is not an easy task, but these tips can help you stay consistent and achieve your goals this new year. 

At Optimist Performance, we also help individuals achieve their goals through our optimist coaching. Our coaches act as that critical friend and give you the time, support and guidance we all need to achieve our goals. 

Learn more about our Optimist Coaching here or get in touch with us to discover how we can help you achieve success in 2023.

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However, you will need to develop or change some habits and behaviours to reach your objectives. Unfortunately, this is not an easy task; but, it is not impossible either, and we want to help you succeed. 

The main barriers to creating new habits and breaking old ones

Before we get into the tactics for changing habits and behaviours, it’s important to understand the main roadblocks you’re likely to encounter.

As the saying goes, “knowledge is power”, so the more you know about the potential stumbling blocks you’ll face along the path, the easier it will be to conquer them.

When it comes to changing habits and behaviours, the following are the main roadblocks:

• Lack of motivation. Motivation is a fantastic method to start something new, but it will eventually wear off, so your strategy can’t rely solely on it.

• Lack of willpower. We rely on our willpower when we want to make a change, but, as motivation, willpower is a finite resource that isn’t strong enough to help you achieve long-term success.

The science behind habits and how to use them in our favour

There are various ideas, recommendations, and tactics for forming or breaking habits. Still, before we get into them, it’s critical to understand the foundation of it all: how new habits form and how the brain works regarding habits.

Habits are a set of behaviours that are repeated regularly and usually occur unconsciously.

However, habits are neural pathways connections between neurons that get stronger by repetition in our brains. In addition, neuroplasticity is our brains’ ability to create new neural connections, which means we can break old habits and create new ones. 

Habits have 4 key ingredients, cue, behaviour, craving and reward. These four elements constitute the habit loop. 

• The cue is the stimulus that triggers the behaviour. 

• The routine is the behaviour or response we execute in response to the cue. 

• The reward is the positive outcome we receive when performing the behaviour. 

• The craving is the Reward Anticipation Signal generated by our brain in response to the cue and in anticipation of the expected reward.

How to use science to change our habits

To help you establish or modify the habits you need to achieve your goals, we’ve gathered several theories and advice related to the different aspects of the habit loop and habit formation in the brain.

1. The nudge theory

Because habits are essentially a response to a cue, changing the cue or making it more difficult is one strategy to change our habits.

“A nudge is any aspect of the choice architecture that alters people’s behaviour in a predictable way without forbidding any options or significantly changing their economic incentives.”

Nudge Theory is founded on the premise that by influencing the environment, also known as choice architecture, one can impact the likelihood that individuals will choose one option over another.

Companies that promote exercise by making stair access simpler while hiding elevators are an example of this. This is also why numerous marketing efforts are created and how supermarkets organise their shelves.

We can make the cue appear more evident or more difficult to notice.

2. Use positive reinforcement 

We’ve discussed rewards, which are the primary motivation for our brains to form certain neural connections. When planning your rewards, bear in mind a few things.

• They must be given during or immediately after the behaviour is performed. So, while being healthy in a year is a fantastic long-term reward, it isn’t enough to form habits.

• They can be connected to our emotions. Positive emotions are a reward for our brains. This is what the celebration method is based upon. Every time we complete the desired behaviour, we celebrate it, which in turn generates a positive emotion.

3. Use the habit stacking method

We all have habits or neural connections that are highly engraved in our brains, so why don’t we use them to create new ones? This is why many tips out there talk about pairing your new desired habit to an old one. It’s easier for our brains to bring a small change to an already existing connection than to create a whole new one altogether. 

When using habit stacking is better to keep the add-on small. It may take you longer to achieve the desired results, but it increases your chances of success. 

4. Use Functional Imagery Training (FIT) 

We’ve mentioned before that motivation is important when starting a new habit, but it’s challenging to maintain. There is a better way to keep motivation, Functional Imagery Training (FIT). 

FIT is a new brief motivational intervention based on the Elaborated Intrusion theory of desire. FIT trains the habitual use of personalised, affective, goal-directed mental imagery to plan behaviours, anticipate obstacles, and mentally try out solutions from previous successes.

You can watch one FIT session here. 

The Optimist View…

Developing new habits or behaviours, modifying old ones, or even breaking them all together is difficult. However, at Optimist Performance, we believe that we can accomplish everything we set out minds to if we have the correct information and tools. 

Nonetheless, we recognise that any change needs effort on our part. Therefore we must be willing to put forth the effort. Furthermore, even if we are willing to perform the task, we may not know where to begin or how to proceed, but this is where we can help.

Are you ready? If you have set yourself up to achieve your goals this new year but want some reassurance or help to get there, get in touch with us and find out how our executive coaching can help you succeed in 2022. 

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Studies show that we are influenced by the people around us and the people around them too. So, choosing who we surround ourselves with is one more way to impact our results. 

HOW CAN THE PEOPLE AROUND US AFFECT OUR OUTCOMES

Altering our emotions 

Emotions are contagious, and unfortunately, negative emotions spread even faster. Take, for example, a meeting. If people around you feel impatient or angry, you are bound to have the same feelings.

We tend to catch any feelings “in the air”, which will determine our emotions, behaviours, and ultimately our outcomes. 

People who are positive, optimistic and have incredible energy always fill up the room with great vibes. So, it’s essential to choose people who radiate the feelings and emotions we most desire.

Influencing our values and beliefs

Studies showed that our values and beliefs can change depending on the behaviours of people around us. For example, a study done with the students from Humboldt State University showed that students changed the value they gave to green travel depending on the people’s behaviour around them. 

Primarily our beliefs and values are determined by our parents and our life experiences. Nonetheless, we also adapt them depending on where and who we are with.  

This can seem a bit far-fetched because we can’t stop being influenced by other people, but we can choose who influences us and ultimately how they influence us. 

Exposing ourselves to people who share our values and the behaviours we aspire to help to take us closer to them. 

Modifying our behaviours

We act differently depending on who we are around. For example, we eat more when the people around us eat more than us. 

On the other hand, we can also adopt positive behaviours from our peers. So, for example, people with low self-discipline can get better at it by surrounding themselves with highly disciplined people. Moreover, exposing ourselves to these habits will make it easy to adapt to them. 

Another tool to help support this and reinforce the behaviours we are looking for is to create competition. We can share our goals in a friendly, competitive way in order to help us maintain our focus and discipline.

A recent study showed that competition enabled us to achieve our goals faster as we tend to perform better when competing and being held to account by others. 

Increasing our self-confidence and accelerating our growth

Sometimes, we all need some words of encouragement to push us forward. Being around people who believe in us and encourage us to do better is essential to succeed.  

People around us can also help our growth. By surrounding ourselves with people smarter than us, we are exposing ourselves to new learnings and experiences. 

To use a clear example, the best way to learn a new language is to live where people speak that language. So the more open and involved we are, the easier it is to learn, communicate and be understood. 

Life should be a continuous learning experience. We all have different learnings, experiences and strengths, which means there is always something new to learn. 

“If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.” – Confucius. 

Keeping our inspiration 

Last but not least, being around highly motivated people will inspire us to be and do better. 

Take, for example, a conference with great speakers; by the end of the session, we will typically feel more motivated and inspired. 

Every successful person knows how important it is to surround themselves with the right people.

We are all influenced by those around us, and while we can’t stop the influence, we can choose who we are being influenced by and which people we are going to focus our energy and attention towards.  

Getting closer and spending more time with people we admire will positively impact our outcomes. 

WHERE DO WE LOOK  

While the phrase “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” is quite popular, it’s not true. As we said before, we are not only influenced by the five people closest to us. Their connections will affect us too. 

Although choosing our closest relationships wisely is extremely important, they are not our only influences.

• At work

We spend about one-third of our lives at work, which means our colleagues will have a significant impact on us. 

Consider this 2010 study of the United States Air Force, in which psychologists tracked cadets over 4 years. They found almost no differences in fitness gain/losses across the cadets on the same squadron during this time. Squadrons are groups of about 30 cadets who spend nearly all of their time together. Interestingly, even though the training is the same for all squadrons, there were no similarities in fitness from one squadron to the next. 

It turns out the determining factor as to whether the 30 cadets within a squadron improved was the motivation of the least fit person in the group.

Motivation or the lack of it can spread quickly within a team. So, choosing the right environment to work in should be as important as the job itself. Otherwise, we can end up seeing negative outcomes for ourselves.

If you can’t choose your team, you need to pay extra attention when deciding where to work. 

Their company culture or staff turnover rate can be good indicators of the environment’s quality. 

On the other hand, if you’re the person choosing your team, keep in mind how contagious negative feelings and behaviours are. Paying attention to attitudes in the recruitment process can help you find the right influence for your team. 

• In our personal lives

A long time ago, it was difficult to meet people outside your closest circle. Thankfully today, we can literally change our environment daily.

Modern technology, our ability to travel, and all the information we have at our fingertips make it easier to find our tribe. 

Finding who shares our interests and hobbies or meeting new people has never been easier. There is an infinite number of possibilities to find groups and events aligned with our interests and values. 

We can’t choose our families, but we surely can choose our friends. Of course, this doesn’t mean we need to forget about our old friends, but we can expand our circle. 

• Online connections

We spend on average 396 minutes per day on social media, which means online interactions also affect us. 

We need to consciously choose who we interact with and what content we consume. A study has proven that even videos have an impact on us. So, it’s essential to be mindful of the content we consume online. 

On a positive note, social media allows us to connect with people who would be difficult to meet otherwise.

Any successful people we admire, for example, can typically be found on social media and willing to share their knowledge and experiences. 

THE OPTIMIST VIEW

As Optimists, we always look for the silver lining. We know that influences can be harmful, but they can also be great. 

In addition, we can’t forget that we are all influencers too. At the same time, we all are influencing others and being influenced by them.

So, as vital as it is to continually look at the people around you, it is essential to keep looking and reflecting on yourself and your own behaviours too. 

“We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why.” ― Stephen King.

Are you the person you want to be? What changes would you like to make? What outcomes are you looking for? 

We all can be better, and our executive coaching can help you become the best version of yourself. However, we all have different needs, which is why we can find the right coach for you. 

Get in touch with us for a free consultation about our coaching sessions. Or, if you’re looking to inject a bit of optimism and inspiration into your team, click here to learn more about our motivational speaking sessions. 

And now, let us know about you… which characteristics would you choose to surround yourself with? 

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