Contrary to the airbrushed and edited curations of Instagram influencers, life and work can be messy. Best laid plans can be brought down in seconds when life throws a curveball your way.

Comparing your insides to other people’s outsides can lead to some profoundly unpleasant psychological discomforts. As well as FOMO (fear of missing out), these can also include dissatisfaction, frustration and perceptions of inability – all categorised as deficiencies of the self. They are all types of suffering that stem from a non-physical origin. The bad news is that they are also widely believed to be an inescapable aspect of being human.

While physical pain is often localised and frequently explainable through injury or disease, psychological discomfort is harder to define and describe. It includes a range of subjective experiences, which are all characterised by an awareness of negative changes in the self and functions accompanied by negative feelings.

Psychological discomfort appears ingrained within the human condition but changing our mindset to stress is one way of turning a negative experience into useful lessons. This can help us to build a sense of resilience and even wisdom for when life throws you the next lemon. 

I’ve previously written that we make memories from the good days, but we can also flip the experience of a bad day on its head and reflect on the learning that we’ve gained from it. You can read more about eustress, a positive perception which can help us to use stress as something that can be beneficial to us, in the Optimist Performance’s blog.

The Optimist View…

Finding the meaning or reason behind a stressful situation and gaining a motivation or lesson from it isn’t easy, but it does provide a pathway that can help you move forward and push past those feelings of discomfort.

An “attitude of gratitude” remains the mantra I live by and is still something I am cultivating. It will always be a work in progress… and I’m comfortable knowing that it’ll never be perfect.

If you feel like you sometimes need that critical friend to help you gain perspective and find your way, get in touch with us today and learn more about our Optimist Coaching.

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“I wanted to become a doctor because I wanted to serve others…I’ve shared the lives of patients and staff members of the hospital, I’ve laughed with them, I’ve cried with them, this is what I want to do with my life.” – Patch Adams Movie

When we look back on our lives, the things we remember the most are the experiences we shared with others, some good, some bad, but all of them have made us who we are. At Optimist Performance, we are firm believers in the power of shared experiences, which is why we have made it our mission to use them as a catalyst to create long-lasting change. 

However, the power of shared experiences is not only something we believe in; we also have science backing us up. 

The benefits of shared experiences:

When talking about experiences, we are not only referring to the extraordinary ones (like going to the north pole or climbing Kilimanjaro). Yes, extraordinary adventures are amazing, but according to science, the crucial part is not the experience itself but who you share it with. 

Our founder, Ollie Phillips, is a fantastic illustration of this. When we asked him which adventure was his favourite one, his answer was “cycling across America, it wasn’t the most extraordinary one, but it’s the one I remember the most because I went with my wife, Lucy.”

Positive shared experiences enhance our feelings of belonging, connectedness and sense of meaning. Additionally, it boosts our self-esteem and decreases feelings of depression, anxiety and isolation. 

Furthermore, we shouldn’t focus on share experiences only with people we know and with whom we have things in common. Spending time with younger people, for example, can challenge our thinking and foster innovation while also enhancing our sense of purpose if we feel like we are teaching or helping them.

We don’t even really need to share these experiences with someone we know and already like. According to a recent study from Psychological Science, sharing experiences, even with complete strangers, makes us rate those experiences as more meaningful.

In addition to being good for our mental and emotional health, shared experiences also foster empathy and are linked to good physical and cognitive health.

Furthermore, it’s not only sharing these experiences that have a positive impact on us. Even talking about them with others benefits our well-being and life satisfaction, according to studies. 

How can we maximise the power of shared experiences?

Given that loneliness has been identified as one of the largest issues facing society today and that we are spending more time alone than ever (working from home for young people, for example, can be quite lonely). We could all benefit from shared experiences. 

So, we have created a list of ideas on how to maximise the power of experiences:

Leverage your time. Instead of trying to find time that you probably don’t have, we can make our time “multitask”. Take this company as an example; they have their Wednesday meetings while walking in the park. Using the time we spend on everyday activities and turning them into experiences can be a terrific way to make your time multitask. Furthermore, you don’t really need to be in the same room. Consider making a phone call to a co-worker over lunch (research shows that sharing a meal helps us build social connections and communities) to catch up on your weekend or turn a solo activity into a group activity. For instance, our team likes to get together on zoom for “brainstorming sessions”. During these, we just talk about ideas, points of view, etc.… it helps our creativity, but it’s also a bounding moment when we are not alone.

Mix things up. The holiday period can be a great time to spend time with people you normally wouldn’t. If the person you normally work closely with is on leave, ask someone else to collaborate with you or just ask for their opinions over a face-to-face or virtual coffee, You can also use your onboarding to mix things up. If you are a senior in your company, make some time to help young/new people to get situated, you never know what you can learn from them. 

Share, share, share. If you work from home and don’t see much of your co-workers, use your daily or weekly meetings to share your experiences, what you’ve done on the weekend or what you did while on holiday. Most of us can relate to other people’s stories, and it can help us discover more about other people. We always use the first 15 minutes of our morning meetings to talk about our weekends, and yes, maybe we are taking 15 minutes that we could be working, but because of that time, we feel more connected to one another. 

Change the environment. Create a memorable experience for your team by getting them out of their daily routine. Whether you work in the office or at home, it’s difficult to put day-to-day work aside to discuss other things that are maybe just as important. By changing the environment, you can give people the time and space needed to reflect on different aspects of their work and personal lives. Being together outside of routine tasks also fosters a sense of belonging and connection.

At Optimist Performance, we love creating unforgettable memories that have an impact on people. If you need assistance organising your next team event, get in touch with us.

The Optimist View…

“I will never tell you a story that starts with I was alone one day…”, our founder Ollie Phillips used to say. The experiences we have become part of who we are; they have the power to transform us. However, it’s the experiences we share with others, the ones that we remember the most. 

At Optimist Performance, we specialise in creating experiences that will help you grow both individually and as a team. If you want to bring your team together, strengthen your company culture and values, or make sure the whole team is rowing in the same direction, get in touch with us today and see how our leadership journeys can help you and your team maximise your potential.

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The topic of mental health and stress should not be taboo. We should feel empowered to be open when it comes to verbalising issues surrounding our mental health – particularly if it occurs in the workplace. In 2021, there were an estimated 882,000 workers affected by mental health within the workplace in the UK. 

Often, change can be the corkscrew for stress to arise. I found that when I retired from a professional rugby career at the age of 29, it seemed to leave a big old mark!

Quitting rugby has a big impact on my mental health 

Rugby had been my life since I could walk. It had consumed so much of me, and I am grateful for every experience. Much of what I knew was training, playing and thankfully a lot of the time…winning! Don’t get me wrong, playing sport at any level is stressful, let alone internationally! 

Stepping away from the sport left me feeling as if I was lost and I soon realised that the way I dealt with issues in rugby, did not translate to the corporate world. 

After entering the workforce and being faced with intense imposter syndrome, I too, along with many other workers developed an immense amount of stress with my new job. I felt as if I had no purpose, and I was uncomfortable with the way my life was panning out. Yet – I knew I couldn’t just let this get the better of me. I knew I had to better understand myself and be more productive if I wanted to stop feeling like this. 

Here, I have also penned some thoughts on how leaders can help with work-related stress: https://www.optimistperformance.com/captains-blog/news/how-can-leaders-help-with-work-related-stress-by-optimist-performance/ 

“When I realised, I was struggling, I decided to seek therapy.”

I understand that the way to work with mental health issues is to address them head-on – and understand where these issues derive from. When I realised, I was struggling, I decided to seek therapy. This would be one of the best decisions I would ever make. 

Just as walking away from rugby felt like it left a major hold in my life, you too may also in your life feel as if you are searching for a purpose. Struggling with mental health is something many of us will struggle with and we can all benefit from seeking to improve it. 

Distractions can be a haven, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and Everest, and raising money for charity in the process was something I enjoyed outside of rugby – thus keeping my mind at ease. These were major factors in the founding of my leadership and behavioural change business. 

But when we talk about stress, everyone views it as a negative. I recently wrote about Eustress and the ability to use stress positively. I was able to do that throughout my playing career, and even now professionally, a large part down to my mindset. I didn’t always get it right, but when I did, stress was such a powerful tool!

Take a look at my blog on Eustress here: https://www.optimistperformance.com/captains-blog/news/why-you-shouldnt-completely-avoid-stress-by-optimist-performance/ 

 An attitude of Gratitude

I have spoken previously about the idea of the eternal optimist. This idea stems from a serious attitude of taking gratitude for everything life throws your way.

Good days, we make memories from. Bad days – we learn and take experience from. Being appreciative of life itself, using the days that often leave us stressed or anxious as lessons. Also, understanding that living the ‘perfect life’ is virtually impossible. This way of thinking set out the idea of my company ‘Optimist Performance’.

Looking back, I learned a lot from change and transition – despite that being the same thing that kickstarted my struggles. Yet – I see that as the lesson, as I said – taking gratitude in everything.

“Attitude of Gratitude” as a mantra has really helped me. It offers perspective on everything and has helped me deal with much of the stress I have had to deal with. 

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All of these people have invested a great deal of time, energy and also money into being on this trip. They’ve also pledged to each raise at least £10,000 for children’s charity Wooden Spoon so it’s an incredible commitment.

How will everyone respond to the challenge of Everest? The nerves, the pain, the altitude, the emotional expenditure. How will I react? In going through things in my own mind, here are the top five things I’ll be reminding myself and those around me.

1. Accentuate the positives

In everyday life but also up Mount Everest, let’s remind ourselves that it’s never as bad as it seems. It’s a cliche but focus on the positives. Negativity only breeds negativity. We are creatures of habit and contagious behaviour needs to reinforce a positive attitude all the time.

2. You’re never on your own

Never try and solve everything on your own. Every team or group is greater than the sum of its parts. There will always be a piece of wisdom there from someone else, so be alive to that.

3. Listen

People will have different opinions and perspectives, but we need to listen to each other. It’s a very tough skill for lots of people, particularly when the chips are down. Hit pause, listen to people around you and be a sounding board for reason.

4. Focus on the fix

If things go wrong, take the time to recognise what went wrong. Don’t rush. Then be relentless in fixing the issue with a solution.

5. Trust

I remember this from the Clipper Round the World Race. When the chips are down, it’s your ability to trust in the people around you that matters. Trusting systems, trusting training, trusting people. That helps you to adapt, stay positive and believe that, even if things go wrong, together you can still achieve your goal.

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I can’t wait to team up with some incredible people as we attempt to set two World Records. First we’ll try to play the world’s highest rugby match and then highest tag rugby match. Working with children’s charity Wooden Spoon we aim to raise well over £200,000 in the process.

Alongside me as team captains are Shane Williams, Tamara Taylor and Lee Mears. Depending on how the Six Nations finishes, it could be a very chirpy Shane Williams, or not so much! We’ll see.. Whatever the result in the rugby, our ability to team-build is paramount. We’ve been spending as much time as possible with each other and all the team members. Knowing each other will make it much easier to help, motivate, nurture, manage, kick etc when we’re up the mountain. It’s a much-used phrase at the moment, but emotional intelligence is key.

Preparation and team-building for Everest

Preparations have been well underway for some time now. Physically I feel strong. I’ve just taken part in one leg of a cycle challenge in support of Scottish legend Doddie Weir. Doddie’s battling motor neurone disease and the whole experience with his team was incredible. Many thanks to everyone who made it possible.

In terms of the body, that’s the kind of physical preparation you can control. The toughest part of taking on something this monumental, though, is all the bits you can’t control. Such as altitude sickness and blisters, both of which can silently creep up on you. We’ve worked hard in an altitude chamber to get the body used to that and hopefully my walking boots are the perfect fit.

Other than that, I’m still doing a lot of visualisation, mentally rehearsing how I will feel and behave at altitude.

Only time will tell but Everest is now feeling very real, and very soon.

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Setbacks are never easy when they’re unexpected. We feel disappointment, frustration, panic and shock. Preparation goes well, you feel in good nick, in control. But then a big curve ball hits that you didn’t anticipate, and hits you for six.

Doddie is a glowing reminder that it’s not the setback, but how we react to it, that’s most important.

So how can we deal with the kind of setback that comes out of the blue?

I try not to over-analyse or over-react. Try to be objective and take the time to assess what’s happened and why it’s happened before you move forward.

I always think back to the four months of preparation I did for my white collar boxing fight. I was super-sharp, super-lean, and then on the day I was knocked out in 30 seconds. How did this happen?… [Time to reflect]. Maybe because four months isn’t that long. Maybe because I lost the best part of 20 kilos for the fight and wasn’t used to it. Probably because I’m not a boxer and he landed a decent punch. You pick yourself up and move on.

Killing complacency

Most of the time, though, setbacks don’t come out of the blue. They’re a time bomb waiting to happen because we’ve got complacent, stopped doing the basics and lost sight of the bigger picture.

In business or in sport complacency cannot set in as easily if everyone has bought into a team culture. Why? Because in a good team, at the first sign of complacency, or bad behaviour, someone should be able to pull you up on it. If it’s against the team’s values, you should get called on it.

In your own office, could every team member pull the others up today for being complacent or behaving badly? If not, why not? For the sake of the business, that level of transparency should be there with everyone, including your boss. In sport it’s easier to achieve than in business. Would you benefit from that kind of culture, with a bit of help?

Speaking of the boss, how important are your leaders during these tough times?

Leading for the storm, not through the storm

Leadership is vital in tough times but have you noticed how the best leaders constantly challenge themselves and their teams to self-evolve and remain open and honest? Because in that kind of environment everyone becomes empowered.

In tough times some people will step up to the plate more than others. That doesn’t make them better, it just means they relish that opportunity. Some people lead and some prefer to be led, and are most effective being well led.

The sign of a really effective, positive leader is not one who belittles or blames. It is someone who empowers and enables, fixes and problem-solves. Sometimes that means having harsh conversations but they don’t need to be negative or detrimental. Most importantly, they need to help people realise it’s not the end of the world.

We get up off the canvas and live to fight another day. Believe me, I know. And if you think you might need a hand with any of this, please get in touch.

Introducing Optimist Performance (LR) from Optimist Performance on Vimeo.

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What exactly is Optimist Performance?

We inspire businesses and teams to exceed their potential in the areas of Teamwork, Leadership, Resilience and Change.

What makes it different?

Professional rugby and my many adventures have taught me huge amounts about these intangible things. Crucially, though, working at PWC I’ve also learnt how powerful they can be in the corporate world. If they’re harnessed into words, values and actions they create a winning culture. So I’ve set up Optimist Performance to help businesses and teams do that, and smash their potential.

How does it work?

Firstly, we don’t like to label what we do just ‘motivational speaking’ because it’s more of a two-way street than that. Typically we work with clients through three phases:

1. Inspiration – we challenge you to think about how you’re operating
2. Exploration – together we find out more about you, your goals and how you’re set up to achieve them
3. Implementation – we help you define and grow the culture, behaviour and processes to succeed

How long does it take and what does it cost?

Ultimately you decide because we can find options to match each need and budget. Some companies like to try us for size with a 1-hour ‘inspire’ pep talk or half-day seminar. Others book whole days or even weekend workshops away. We will end up seeing most clients a few times over four to six months.

Who are your clients?

I have worked with many companies across various sectors, including Google, Accenture, Tesco, Schlumberger, Gatorade, UBS Wealth management, AJG, Clear Channel, Casewise, TBWA and Dark Horses.

Going forward, other speakers and mentors will come in under the Optimist Performance umbrella, broadening the client base but also – crucially – giving all of our clients a wealth of content and case studies, which we will make exclusively available to them.

How do we start?

Click here to Contact Ollie at Optimist Performance now!

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Last year I became a father and now I can’t wait to take my own family on a Sunsail yacht charter. So my mission for the next year is to build my confidence and experience.

I’m hoping to complete my RYA Day Skipper course in early 2019. I’ve already passed my theory exam and I am now looking forward to the practical part. That includes five glorious days on the Solent on a cutting-edge Sunsail Match First 40.

A busy 2019 ahead

I’ve been involved with Sunsail previously thanks to the great people at Wooden Spoon, the children’s charity of rugby. Wooden Spoon funds life-changing projects and events to help children with disabilities and disadvantages. One such event is the annual regatta on The Solent with Sunsail Events.

I’m honoured to compete in my third consecutive regatta in September 2019! I’ll also be racing with Sunsail and Wooden Spoon at Lendy Cowes Week 2019 and it’s all very exciting.

It’s a busy year in fact. I’m taking on the LMAX Exchange Everest Rugby Challenge in April and May for Wooden Spoon. I’ve also recently launched my own motivational speaking brand Optimist Performance, and all that alongside my full-time role as a Director at PWC.

Fingers crossed I’ll also get out to the Rugby World Cup in Japan – as a fan and broadcaster I hasten to add!

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Since I retired from rugby I’ve been involved in some life-changing challenges which have continued to teach me about leadership, team-building and managing change in adversity. As a Director at PWC, I’ve also learnt how powerful these things can be in the world of business so I set up Optimist Performance to impart that same knowledge in the areas of Teamwork, Leadership, Resilience and Change to help businesses & teams exceed their potential.

This website is also the best place to find out about my latest adventure tours – for example I’m climbing Mount Everest this April – and my broadcasting work.

Whether it’s been captaining England in New Zealand, sailing through 80-foot waves, cycling across America or grappling with a new corporate lifestyle, I’ve always been one of life’s eternal optimists, so the name just seemed to work.

Creating Optimist Performance

I want to thank digital and creative agency Redwing for devising the new brand mark, which I love. Redwing were great in coming up with ideas, taking feedback on board and allowing a step-by-step process before we nailed it together, across the website and also social platforms. The compass and mountain imagery gives a strong nod to my various adventures!

Having a compass is important to me. In a literal sense it’s come in very handy hundreds of times now, but I think it’s crucial that we have a strong and conscious sense of where we’re trying to get to.

In the past couple of months I’ve done some work with an exciting sports sponsorship agency called Dark Horses. As a business they’re growing rapidly in a short space of time, which is great but also brings with it headaches. Like any company up-sizing, they’ll face inevitable challenges when it comes to retaining and nurturing the same core values and cultures they have at the heart of their team and their business, and that means navigating through some testing waters.

Hopefully by sharing some of my own experiences, applying them to my new corporate life at PWC, and also by asking them some challenging questions about how they think and behave, I’ve helped set them up to do that and I look forward to working with them some more on their journey. They certainly seem to be in a great place and hugely well equipped to move forwards.

I myself am still fully embracing my current role as Director for Real Estate & Construction at PWC. I head up a team of incredible people, all of whom know far more about it than I do. In fact, I’m often asked “Ollie, what do you know about construction?!” My answer is that I’m not here to put on a hard hat. I’m here to help them wear theirs as well as possible.

Are you facing challenges in teamwork, culture, behaviour or leadership?

Join the long list of businesses benefitting from a day with one of the most inspirational speakers and mentors in the city. Contact Ollie at Optimist Performance now!

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Optimist Performance: Tell us about Dark Horses and what you get up to

Simon Dent: We’re a sports-focused creative agency based in London for people looking to break away from the field. By that I mean the people within our four walls and also our clients. We deliver world-class creative for brands operating in sport and at the moment we’re working with Nissan, Peloton, Wiggle and Southampton FC.

We think there’s a huge opportunity out there to inject a higher level of strategic and creative thinking into the world of sports marketing. For us that goes across four key areas: the first is creative strategy and finding the unique sweet spot between a client’s brand and its audience. The second is advertising, transforming those ideas into execution. Then there’s content production, from films to blogs and everything in between, and finally sponsorship strategy, where we help brands and rights-holders make sure they’re both getting maximum benefit and value from their relationship. In an ideal world, we work for a client across all of those areas.

OP: What’s the Dark Horses ethos?

SD: We exist for those wanting to break away from the field. We’re built on the DNA of the UK’s most creative company, Lucky Generals, and our drive is to always exceed expectations. We do that by assembling incredible creative talent but also, most importantly, by applying a really strong work ethic of constantly challenging each other to do better. One of my favourite sayings is “The moment you see yourself as the favourite, you’ve lost the race”, and we try to really live that.

OP: You’re growing fast – what challenges does that present?

SD: Our culture is hugely important to us, so recruitment becomes incredibly important. Preservation of what we have built to date is my main priority and as we scale up we need to maintain and even distil that chemistry, not dilute it.

OP: You brought in Ollie to talk with your team. Why?

Ollie is a hugely impressive team player and inspirational leader who’s also making a success of himself in the world of business. He’s been in some of the toughest environments you can imagine, whether out on an international rugby field or sailing the seven seas, but beyond that he has an uncanny ability to relate everything he’s learnt, including to the work place.

Every member of our team is a leader and we want them all to feel empowered to grow quickly with us, so we’re always looking to bring in positive role models, to learn from and also to inspire and help us sense check our values and our behaviours. That becomes especially important as our numbers grow. Ollie is a great example of what can be achieved with focus, dedication and positive mindset.

OP: Would you recommend Ollie, and why?

SD: Yes. Ollie is inspirational and I would recommend him to any business looking to inspire a team and get them thinking about mindset and personal growth. He’s worked in a number of different environments, in rugby, sailing, at Cambridge or now becoming a Director at PWC, and he’s always attained ‘best in class’ status. I’m a big believer that one of the keys to survival and success in any field is the ability to adapt and evolve quickly and his continued reinvention of himself is a lesson to us all.

Are you facing challenges in teamwork, culture, behaviour or leadership?

Join the long list of businesses benefitting from a day with one of the most inspirational speakers and mentors in the city. Contact Ollie at Optimist Performance now!

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